Perfectionist ... reborn

In December 2000, about 6 months after I received my drivers license, I was in my first car accident.  I was driving too fast on slippery roads and I didn't see the cars stopped in front of me.  I hit the brakes, slid, swerved and ultimately rear ended the car in front of me.  We all walked (and drove) away and no one was hurt.  Well, at least not physically.  Emotionally, I was a wreck!  I was embarrassed.  Ashamed.  Guilty!  My Dad, bless his heart, said very little.  He didn't yell.  He didn't punish.  But I knew he was disappointed.  And that killed me.  Later that evening, some friends called and invited me to a movie.  And I distinctly remember saying "I can't.  I have to stay home."  My dad, overhearing the conversation asked "Why aren't you going?"

Was he crazy?  Did he forget so quickly the terrible thing I had just done?  I can't go out!  And then I realized what happened...

I had grounded myself.

[fast forward 12 years]

This evening as we were tucking Brooks into bed and praying, he was goofing around and playing with his slinky.  I quietly took it away and reminded him to show respect to Jesus while we were praying.  We finished and as Chris and I were leaving his room, Brooks runs to the door and says "Wait!  We need to finish praying!"

We did finish praying, buddy.

"No, we didn't!  We have to finish praying."

Again, we replied.  Yes, we did finish praying.  You just weren't paying attention.

He was quite adamant that we forgot to finish praying.  And despite us telling him several times that we did, and that he simply wasn't paying attention, he insisted we pray again.  So we did.  And said good-night.

Five minutes later we hear Brooks crying in his room.  Chris goes to check on him and he says "Daddy!  I'm sad that I didn't pay attention when we prayed."

It's ok, buddy.  Would you like to pray again now?

He did.  Brooks said a quick prayer and then gave his slinky to Chris and said "I shouldn't play with this anymore, should I?"  Chris told him he could have it, now that we were done praying.  Then Brooks said, "No. I shouldn't play with this.  You take this downstairs."

And that, is how my son punished himself.