Once back home, the boys played outside and I sat with my feet up on the back patio soaking in the sun. All last week it was cold and rainy so this was a welcome change. I had a massage scheduled for that evening that I was very much looking forward to. It was going to be a good day. It needed to be a good day.
While I was making the boys' lunch, my lower abdomen started cramping. Awesome. This was a regular occurrence during the last few weeks of my pregnancy since this baby was sitting SO low. Sometimes those poor muscles just gave up on me and would start cramping. So I rubbed magnesium lotion all over my belly, something that had helped in the past. But today, it was proving not so helpful. A little while later it cramped up again. And a bit later, again. Dang cramps.
It wasn't until about an hour later that I realized these "cramps" might be contractions. It's still funny to me that I've had three other babies (and I teach people about labor for crying out loud!) and I still didn't recognize these as contractions. Around 2:30ish I texted Chris and our doula to let them know what was going on. I wasn't totally convinced this was labor as the contractions were very mild and I was easily walking and talking through them. But I wanted to make sure they had their phones close by, just in case this developed into something. A little while later our doula, Suzanna, called to see how I was doing. I felt kind of silly even talking about labor, because this definitely didn't feel like it. But I knew how Benny's birth went and I wanted people to be at the ready. I told her I was doing great and would keep her posted if anything changed. Then she asked me if today was a good day to have a baby. Hmm. I hadn't really thought about it. I wasn't even to my due date yet so I wasn't really thinking about labor, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that "yes", today was a good day to have a baby.
A little while later Chris called to check in. Again, I told him things were going well. I was definitely having contractions, but they were still really mild. I was finishing up some laundry, then planning to start supper and go outside and play a game of ladder golf I had promised Brooks.
Around 4pm, Chris suggested I let our midwife know what was happening, you know, just in case. So I texted her and our birth photographer. Our midwife, Belinda, called about 20 minutes later to see how I was doing. She was actually finishing up at another birth in Iowa and her partner was also at a birth (oh dear!) but I told her contractions were still mild and that I was doing well. I had finally come to terms that today was probably baby day, but I just wasn't sure when things would pick up.
Our photographer, Amy, and I were also texting back and forth to figure out when she should come over. So much to try and coordinate.
I set the spaghetti sauce on the stove to simmer for dinner and then headed outside to play with the boys. I chatted with our neighbor for a bit then proceeded to let Brooks beat me at ladder golf. With all the walking around outside, the contractions were starting to pick up in intensity. I was still talking through them, but it wasn't very pleasant to walk through them anymore. During the ladder golf game, Brooks asked why I kept stopping. I told him I was having belly squeezes. "Do they hurt?" he asked me. Uh huh, just a little bit, but it feels better if I stop moving when I have one." He was very patient with me as we finished our game. Up to this point I hadn't bothered with timing them, but I figured I should start. 5-6 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute. Yep, this was labor.
Around 5pm, we finished up our game and I really didn't feel up to more walking. So I headed inside to rest. I had a contraction while heading up the stairs and I went down to my knees. These were getting more serious. I needed Chris home but at this point he was already on his way, so I didn't call. I texted our doula to let her know this was indeed labor and she decided to start driving in from Brookings. I also let Belinda know contractions were pretty close. She was just wrapping up at the other birth and waiting on her nurse. Then they would head up to Sioux Falls from Iowa.
I knew I needed to call Grandma Gale to come get the three other boys, but contractions were commanding more of my attention now and quite honestly, I was tired of texting people and trying to coordinate everything myself. "Chris can handle that when he gets home" I thought.
Chris came home shortly after 5pm and immediately started filling up the birth pool. He called Grandma Gale but she didn't answer. A few minutes later, he called her back. No answer. He called Papa Gale. No answer. Then Bekah. Then Heather. No one was answering their phone. Uh, that sucks. So we started going through our list of regular baby sitters, knowing we needed to send our kids somewhere for the evening. No one was answering their phone. Now I was started to get a little panicked. I was trying to help the boys get an overnight bag packed in between contractions, but I was not much help. Benny woke up from a late nap and needed a diaper change. Chris was still making phone calls and trying to gather birth supplies. And I'm alone in our room, now moaning through contractions. It was stressful, to say the least. I was trying to focus on labor and block out the other noise, but it was hard.
Then Brooks came to check on me. "Do the tummy squeezes hurt now, Mama?" Yes, they do buddy. It's a lot of hard working having a baby." "Is there something I can do to help?" he asked. What a sweet boy. I was sitting on the ball leaning over our bed, and I asked him if he could rub my back. So he stood next to me, laid his head on the bed near mine and rubbed my back. I looked into his bright blue eyes, filled with concern for his Mama, and smiled. Here was my firstborn son, taking care of me as I worked to birth his third little brother, our fourth son. I closed my eyes and soaked in his love. Everything was going to be ok.
Chris was going to put a movie on for the boys until we found a place for them to go, but I realized it was now 6pm, and the boys were probably hungry. They hadn't eaten dinner yet. Or even had an afternoon snack. So Chris slapped some peanut butter on bread and sat them down for "dinner".
Finally I texted our neighbor, Hannah, to see if she was home and if she could take the boys, just for a few hours until we got a hold of Grandma Gale. (my one regret of this whole labor was not texting her earlier in the day!) Hannah wasn't home (gah!!) but her husband was and said he would take the boys. I felt awful sending over my 3 boys (to add to their 3 little boys) but we literally had no other options.
Amy arrived around 6:15pm and was awesome at helping boil water for the pool and getting our bed ready with waterproof liners. I told Chris that Jon would take the boys and Amy quickly offered to take them over to their house. I laughed as I watched them through the window - she had Benny in one arm, their overnight bag in the other and they were just short of running down the sidewalk. I was thankful to know they had a place to go. And thankful Amy was there to take them. I texted Belinda to let her know things were really picking up and to see if she was on her way. She was on the road. Whew! At Benny's birth, the midwife barely made it there in time. I was happy to know Belinda would be here.
Once the boys were gone, I finally settled into labor. I stayed in our bedroom since I needed to use the bathroom often. Around 6;30pm Suzanna arrived. By this point contractions were really close and very intense. I was definitely not talking or walking during them, and very little in between them either. Chris was also with me now that the big boys were out of the house. I really needed him with me now.
Baby was sitting so low that sitting on the ball wasn't comfortable any more and laying down wasn't comfortable when I wasn't in labor, so I wasn't even going to try that. So I stood, leaning over our bathroom sink and moaning and swaying through each contraction. They really hurt and each one brought on more pressure down low. Chris and Suzanna were rubbing my back, getting me water and talking me through contractions. I honestly have no idea who was touching me since I barely lifted my head out of my arms on the counter. The contractions were really close and each one seemed harder than the last.
I really appreciated all the help from Chris and Suzanna but I really felt like I went inside myself during this labor. The contractions would come and I really wanted to give up. I wanted to let fear take hold of me. To cry out that I didn't want to do this anymore. But I knew I had to. No one else could birth this baby and there was no other way around it. I had to do it. So with each contraction I let go. I relaxed everything I could to make the most of each contraction. And I had to let go of the fear. I kept wanting to ask "how many more contractions do I have to do?" but I knew they couldn't answer that any more than I could. So I kept leaning, and swaying and moaning. Chris prayed over me. I knew Amy was praying. And I knew this baby would be here soon.
A few times Suzanna asked if I wanted to get in the tub but I always said no. Mostly because I knew that during Benny's labor getting in the water made contractions worse. I couldn't handle worse right now. And partly because Belinda wasn't there yet. And I needed her there before I got in the water since things would probably pick up then.
Contractions kept coming, sometimes they didn't end, but then I would get a short breath of relief before the next one came. With each one I could feel more and more pressure down low and I kept hoping that I would get that "overwhelming" wave that caused me to start pushing. But it didn't come. Not yet. So I kept swaying and moaning. One of the best things Suzanna said to me was "These are really strong contractions." So simple, yet I felt so empowered just having her acknowledge the incredible amount of work I was doing. And to reaffirm (at least to me) that I wasn't being a wimp and that these really were hard. And I was making it through them.
Suz also recognized that pushing wasn't too far off and encouraged me to start making my way downstairs to the birth pool. I finally agreed. For the last hour I hadn't left our little bathroom and as I stepped out to walk downstairs, I realized I wasn't going to make it very far. A contraction hit and I knew I wasn't going to make it past those few steps out. I gripped onto Chris and yelled for the whole neighborhood to hear (literally. I realized later that our bedroom windows were wide open! Oops.) And with that never ending contraction, I started getting that urge to push. I felt ok standing there, but Chris and Suz thought it would be better for me to get on my hands and knees since my legs were shaking with fatigue.
Belinda still wasn't there. But I don't recall being worried about it. I knew the baby would come and I knew he would be ok. Chris, however, was getting little concerned. Later, he told me he was thinking through having to catch this baby on his own and just praying that nothing went wrong. And we were both so glad that Suzanna was there. She put down the waterproof sheet on the floor and a few chux pads under me. And while I was pushing she had Chris get in position to catch our baby. I never sensed panic or fear. Just Chris and I, our doula, and photographer - having a baby.
During one pushing contraction, my water broke and I kept pushing. Oh, the primal sounds that come out during pushing! I totally forgot how hard it is to push out a baby. Which seems silly, but in the water, it seemed so effortless. No burning or stretching sensation. The baby just kinda slid out. And during my last two births, I think I pushed for a whole 5 minutes. This kiddo was taking what seemed like an eternity to come out.
And then I heard it. The giant, collective sigh of relief as Belinda and her nurse came into the room. Oh, we were all so glad she was there.
She quickly set up her things, and got into position to catch a baby. It wasn't long after that that I had the worst contraction of my whole labor and a crazy amount of pain. Belinda told me to push slow but I felt like I really didn't have control over pushing. My body just took over. Everything hurt so I didn't feel like I pushed too hard, but even if I was I don't think I could do anything about it. So much pressure. So much pain! Oh my word this baby just needed to come OUT! And then he did. I felt his head was out and immediately there was so much relief. A moment later his body was out and that was it! He was here. 7:30pm on Monday evening, May 2nd.
I can't even describe the amazing feeling the comes with holding your baby for the first time. All wet and wrinkly and perfect. He was just perfect. We did it. I knew I could do it and I did. I was so happy to not be pregnant anymore and I was so happy to finally have this little boy in my arms!
It was just a few minutes later that the placenta came out. After that Chris cut the cord and I made my way to the bed. This was the moment I had been waiting for. When the pregnancy was over, the labor was over and I could just rest with a newborn baby in my arms. Sweet bliss! We spent time together nursing and getting to know each other. We had two names picked out, but we decided to call him Cole Oliver. It fit him well.
Belinda, her nurse, and Suzanna were cleaning up their things, draining the pool that I never used and making sure we were all settled in. The pot of spaghetti sauce was still on the stove, but instead of feeding my family, it fed my birth team! Grandma Gale eventually called us back (she left her phone in the house earlier while she went outside to work in the garden. She wasn't expecting me to have a baby that day either!) and she came over and picked up the boys from the neighbors. They were thrilled to have a sleepover at Grandma's house!
It was a day that started as an ordinary day, but ended with a sweet new baby in our arms. And just like that, we were a family of six!
