Bye Bye Charlie

This last weekend we spent Thanksgiving with my parents in Green Bay.  We had a wonderful time, but we came home with one less family member.  Don't worry, we remembered the boys but Charlie didn't make the trip home. 

It all started a few months ago with the "we should get rid of the dog" conversation Chris and I had.  He'd been part of our family for over four years, but between the constant barking that woke the baby, the peeing on the floor and jumping up when guests came to visit and him tripping our son this summer that required a trip to the dentist with x-rays, I just couldn't take any more.  He was a good dog, but not really a good fit for our family any more.  And since we now had two children to take care of, the poor pooch was constantly being pushed off the couch, pushed out of our laps and in general, just pushed away.  And as much as that dog annoyed me, I knew he deserved better than that.

So we put out an ad on Facebook.  Free dog to a good home.  Then my high school friend Jenny (who now lives in the Chicago area) called and said she works with some folks who are daschund enthusiasts.  Frankly I never knew such people existed.  Everyone I talked to who had owned a weiner dog said they would never own one again!  But one gal, Bonnie was interested and we started e-mailing back and forth - her asking questions and me sending pictures.  And after some correspondence she said she would LOVE for Charlie to come live with her.

Ok.  So this was really happening.  We'd always talked about getting rid of the dog but now here we were really doing it.  So I met up with Jenny over the weekend and she took Charlie down to his new home in Chicago.

And just like that he was gone.  For good.  We'd had several (I mean, several) conversations about this and we'd agreed over and over that this was what's best for our family.  But I have to admit, it was a sad moment.  Brooks took the transition in stride, but even he was a little sad.

And now it's quieter around here.  (And I say quiet-ER because with two boys this house is never truly quiet)  And that was the goal, I will admit.  But we're still getting used to not having him around.  I'm still conditioned to hearing barking when someone knocks on the door.  And I half expect to hear our tap dancing dog (hardwood floors) scamper up the stairs to bed at night.  And I never realized just how messy Brooks was when he ate.  The best thing that dog ever did was clean up crumbs from under the table.

And even though that dumb dog peed in my shoe the last day we had him, I kinda miss the little guy.  But from what Bonnie tells me, he doesn't get put in a kennel during the day, he gets to ride in the car to the dog park and he sleeps on her bed.  Um, yeah.  He's totally loving it there!

Watch Me Grow: 2 Months

those are not bunny ears by the way ...  they're my feet :)

My sweet baby boy is 2 months old!!  Can you believe it??  I keep thinking that the 8 weeks leading up to his birth took forever and the 8 weeks since have flown by.  Here's what's new in life with Carter.

•  This month Carter earned a new nickname.  Captain Fussy Pants.  But after a chiropractic adjustment and cutting dairy out of my diet (sad), I'm happy to say he's doing much much better.  Now he's the sweet and smiley boy that I always knew he was.
• He's nursing about every 3 hours or so.  Sometimes less, usually more.  He's a pretty efficient eater now.  We can be done in less than 10 minutes.  
• Carter is sleeping longer stretches at night, usually only waking twice to eat.  And after eating, he'll go right back to sleep.  Awesome!  Despite his fussy-ness during the day, he's always slept well at night.  And after our early morning feeding, he just stays in bed with us and snuggles.  I love it!
• He's getting stronger every day.  He can hold his head up really well and when supported can put all his weight on his legs.
• Speaking of legs, they're super chubby and cute!  He's really filling out and I love his pudgy little rolls.
• When you look at Carter and smile, he'll smile right back and coo at you.  Melts my heart every time.  What mother doesn't love those huge toothless grins?  Usually when I pull out the camera Carter just stares at it in amazement rather than smiling.  But Chris was able to capture these few smiles before we headed out one evening.

Isn't that hat just adorable?  It's ok, you can say it.  He's pretty much the cutest kid ever!

No More Cheese

Wow, it's been a whole month since I've posted anything. I've wanted to, believe me, and I have several posts already written ... in my head. But given that Carter's new nickname is Captain Fussy Pants, most all of my time lately has been rocking, nursing and in general holding baby C.  I'm ok holding him.  Really.  In fact, I prefer to hold him rather than just set him in a chair for most of the day.  But even while holding, rocking, swaying, wearing, swaddling, bouncing, walking, and shushing him, he would still cry.  The only time he wasn't crying was when he was eating (all the time) and when he was sleeping (hardly ever).  Oh, the frustration.  And during this time his poops have been ... well ... let's just say less than lovely.  My purely breastfed baby is supposed to have sweet smelling diapers and his were anything but.  Something wasn't right.

So after a few weeks of this I took him to the chiropractor.  I figured I'd start there.  Dr. Marsh adjusted him and then suggested I start limiting my dairy intake.  I had thought that maybe my diet was contributing to the problem, but didn't really want to believe it.  I mean, do you know how hard it would be for this Wisconsin girl to stop eating cheese??  But it was worth a try.  So starting that day (which was exaclty two weeks ago now) I stopped consuming dairy.  No milk. No cheese.  No yogurt.  No sour cream.  No butter.  No cottage cheese.  No nothing.  (ok, I know that's not grammatically correct, but you'll have to forgive me ... I'm dairy deprived!)

I was hoping for an immediate improvement but we all know that didn't happen.  But Carter did seem to get a little better.  In fact he was on an every other day schedule.  One day crabby and fussy as usual.  The next, smiley and happy.  And then back to crabby.  This went on for a week.  Then this last week he's had more and more happy days.  And finally two weeks later, I believe we've solved the problem.  Carter has been an amazing napper!  He's smiling and cooing and it's fun to be around him again.  Oh and his poop??  (because you were all dying to know)  Yep, back to normal.  Which makes risning and washing diapers much more pleasant.

So I guess that makes giving up my favorite food group worth it.  And as an added bonus, I'm dropping the baby weight faster and saving money to boot.  Milk is expensive!  Now my my only problem is ... what do I make for supper????

Watch Me Grow: 1 Month

Yep, our little Carter James is one month old.  Crazy, huh?  Here's some highlights from his first month of life.

• This kiddo LOVES to be held.  And that's probably because I hold him all the time.  But can you blame me?  He's so adorable!!
• Not only does he like to be held, but he also has taken a liking to sleeping in our bed.  He starts out the night in his bassinet in our room, but at some point in the night he always ends up in bed with us.  He sleeps better that way and I .... well, I actually sleep.
• Carter has earned the nickname "Squeaker".  When he wakes in the night to eat he doesn't cry (nice, huh?).  He just grunts and squeaks.  It's really cute.  But don't think we have the world's easiest baby.  He cries plenty during the day - usually when he's not being held.
• He likes to look at our red curtains and at lights; especially the lights in our bathroom.
• Mirrors make him stop crying.  That is very helpful to know!
• The best way to get Carter to sleep is to bounce on the exercise ball with him on our chest.  Does it almost every time.  It's tiring but at least I'm getting some exercise!
• A few times he's cracked a smile at me.  And he didn't immediately poop afterwards so it's not just gas :)
• He eats every 2-3 hours, sometimes more often.  He'll go a stretch of abou 4 hours at night between eating.  That's nice.
• We started cloth diapering with Carter.  At first it wasn't going so well - he was leaking out of them all the time.  I couldn't figure out if it was me or the diapers.  Then we switched to FuzziBunz and no more leaks!  Good to know it wasn't me.  Now I actually enjoy it.  And washing them is so easy - not as gross as everyone expects.
• He's already grown out of his newborn clothes.  Sure didn't take long.  But the way this kid eats, it's no wonder he's growing so much! 
• Brooks LOVES Carter.  He's always getting him his pacifier, covering him with blankets and rocking him in his chair.  Now I'm just teaching him that Carter doesn't need his paci when he's already sleeping, blankets don't go on the baby's head and we don't need to launch Carter out of the rocking chair.  But he's learning and he's a good help.  He's such a good big brother!!

Carter James - A Birth Story

Saturday, September 3 - We were really hoping to have had a baby by now, but since we didn't we were thankful for one more Saturday to sleep in and enjoy a big breakfast.  I'd been having Braxton Hicks contractions since 20 weeks with this pregnancy, but this morning they came every 5 minutes.  Still very mild and I was easily able to walk and talk through them, but still persistent.  I wanted to believe it was real labor but I knew better.  Just more warm-ups for the real thing.  In fact I was so convinced that nothing would come of them, that I let Chris go to Lifelight that afternoon to hear his brother's band play.

Brooks and I just hung around the house and played.  Contractions still 5 minutes apart, but no stronger at all.  I was getting kind of annoyed.  Either do something or go away.  When Chris got home around 4pm, I decided to take the dog for a walk and see if anything would come of these things.  We walked for about 45 minutes and although they increased in strength a little during our walk, as soon as I arrived back home they fizzled out again.  I took a nap around 6pm and they stopped altogether.  Fantastic.  This could go on for days.

Around 7:30 Chris' brother JD and his wife Pamela came over for supper and we enjoyed spending time out with them.  I had noticed my contractions were picking up a little (and I mean just a little) during that time where it felt better to pause for about 20 seconds at the peak of them but still didn't require any relaxation or even the need to close my eyes.  JD and Pamela left around 8:30pm and we put Brooks to bed.  I texted our friend EdithEllen (our babysitter) to tell her to keep her phone close by.  I was still convinced I wasn't in labor and wouldn't be for a long time, but I thought I'd give her a heads up .... just in case.

Around 9pm Chris, the ever planner, suggested going to bed.  If this did turn into labor, we both should rest now while we could.  I agreed but wasn't really tired so I quick checked e-mails and facebook and made it to bed around 9:15.  Contractions were still about 5 minutes apart, but as soon as I laid down they really picked up in strength.  Chris was laying next to me just timing contractions but I informed him I needed his coaching now.  I actually had to work to relax through these.  Contractions were only about 45 seconds long, but each one was much stronger and harder than the previous one.  Now I knew this was labor.  By 9:30 I realized things were moving faster than either of us expected.  Chris called EdithEllen to tell her we'd leave for the hospital in about half an hour.  He quickly grabbed the last few things for our hospital bag.

In about 10 minutes time, contractions went from 5 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds to 2-3 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute 15 seconds.  Chris called EE and told her we'd leave as soon as she could get here.  He was now running, putting bags in the car and getting his shoes on.  In the meantime I starting shaking and feeling very nauseous!  I was hitting transition.  And I was in my bed at home!!!  I wasn't ready to have this baby here!

Chris saw what was happening and helped get me to the car.  We were ready to leave before EdithEllen arrived (figuring Brooks would be ok alone for a few minutes - he was sleeping), but thankfully she pulled up just as Chris was backing out of the driveway.  He gave her a few quick instructions and we were off.  Fortunately the hospital is only about 5 minutes away but it was the longest 5 minute drive of my life.  We were about 3 blocks from home and pulling onto Minnesota Ave (which is still very busy at 10 o'clock at night by the way) when a contraction came and I demanded that Chris stop the car.  I just couldn't do it with the bumpy roads.  He quickly pulled into the turning lane and stopped the car.  He held my hand through the contraction, and then informed me that we couldn't stop anymore.  We HAD to get to the hospital. 

I couldn't believe how strong and fast these contractions were coming.  I didn't have any urges to push so I knew this baby wouldn't be born in the car, but each contraction was still harder than the previous one.  I was a bit scared at how intense this could get. 

Chris called our midwife, Teri, while driving to tell her what was going on.  She said she'd meet us at the hospital.  We pulled up to the Emergency Entrance around 10:15pm.  There was a lot of pressure from this baby so I hobbled inside and they quickly got me a wheelchair.  We were there about 5 minutes before a nurse came down and wheeled me up to labor and delivery.  In the short walk we had to stop two or three times for a contraction.  Oh, they were so strong!

When we arrived on the labor and delivery floor they initially were going to take me to an exam room.  Not because they needed to make sure I was really in labor (clearly, I was) but because there wasn't a regular room ready.  I told them to just leave me in the hall .... I could have this baby anywhere!

Within a few minutes, they said the room was clean and ready.  They wheeled me in and the floors were still wet from mopping.  Guess I couldn't question if it was really clean.  I stood up from the wheelchair and Chris and I labored standing next to the bed.  Contractions were still coming every two minutes and lasting at least a minute.  The nurse was very accomodating and simply worked around us as she checked the baby with the EFM.  Oh yeah, the baby.  Honestly, because I was so focused on these intense contractions I forgot why they were happening in the first place.  Baby sounded good.  I changed into a gown and declined a vaginal exam.  I was having this baby whether I was a 4 or 7 ... it didn't really matter.

We labored in the room for a while and then I had to use the bathroom.  It felt good to pee, but contractions were coming even stronger and harder now.  In fact, if I had 30 seconds between them that was a long time.  And they didn't seem to have a gradual start, a peak and then taper off.  They just peaked and stayed there for the duration of the contraction.  I continued sitting on the toilet.  It didn't feel very good, but I was pretty sure these contractions would be painful in any position.  Chris put a pillow behind my back and supported my head.  The only way I could cope was to moan through each contraction.  The stronger the contraction, the louder I moaned.  So needless to say, it was pretty noisy in our room.  After laboring on the toilet for some time,  I told Chris I couldn't do this anymore.  I just couldn't.  He and Teri both reassured me I was doing great and that I could do it, but it was so hard!  If only I could get a break.  If only I had a bit more time between contractions.  But by the time I could utter "I need a break" another contraction hit.

Chris suggested standing back up - perhaps that would feel better.  I stood up & gravity seemd to take over.  After a few minutes my water broke.  Then I started pushing at the peaks (or what would have been the peaks) of contractions.  Soon enough I was pushing during the entire contraction.  I was still standing and it was quite uncomfortable pushing in this position.  I didn't feel like there was enough room for baby to come out.  Teri asked if I wanted to go back to the bed (I'm still in the bathroom, remember) and I told her I wouldn't make it. 

During my whole pregnancy I was determined to push this baby out squatting.  If Brazillian women could do it, darn it, so could I!!  So I squatted down and well ... that was even more uncomfortable than standing.  Then Teri said squatting puts a lot of pressure on the perineum and suggested hands and knees instead.  So on my knees I went.  I leaned forward into Chris' lap and pushed!!  I still didn't get a break in between contractions and they were still quite painful, even when pushing.  Since there wasn't a gradual start to them, I didn't have a chance to take the two cleansing breaths that I teach my students.  In fact I was thinking, I don't teach ANY of this!  All I could do was listen to my body and make it up as we went.  Just goes to show that you can't always script your birth.

Teri did a quick check and found a cervical lip, which she moved out of the way.  And then this baby came fast.  I mean, really fast!  I literally felt him slide down the birth canal.  The pressure was overwhelming.  Teri told me to do "little pushes" and I did my best to comply, but he really wanted to be born.  Within a minute or so, at 11:30pm our baby's head emerged.  Tremendous release!  (I believe there was a total of five minutes of pushing!)  I sat back up on my knees and grabbed my baby.  Oh how sweet to be holding this miracle in my arms.  Chris checked and announed it was a boy! 

I was in shock!  I couldn't believe how fast this labor went.  (just hours earlier I was having dinner with my brother & sister in law!)  I couldn't believe it was over and he was in my arms.  I couldn't believe it was a boy!  But he was perfect.  He looked just like Brooks.  And he was screaming.  A beautiful newborn cry that told me everything was ok.

Teri told me that since I was bleeding quite a bit (later I found out due to a partial placental abruption) she wanted to give me a shot of pitocin in my arm to avoid starting an IV.  I agreed and then we all walked to the bed, my beautiful baby boy in my arms.  We were able to leave his cord intact and have skin to skin time right away.  It was perfect.  The rest of the room just faded away as I laid there holding my baby boy.  He eventually stopped crying and I was fascinated as I looked into his eyes, so bright and so full of wonder.  Within the hour he latched on and nursed like a champ.  We didn't have a name for him since we sincerely thought this was a girl, but that didn't matter.  Not now, anyway.  Later we decided to call him Carter James.  It fits him well :)

I was so thankful for Chris who helped and supported me through the whole crazy labor.  I was so thankful for Teri for being such a calm presence and allowing us to have the birth we wanted.  And I couldn't stop thanking God for giving us such a precious new life, healthy and whole.  My heart was full.  It still is.  I loved being pregnant.  I loved giving birth.  And I love being a mama to my two wonderful boys.

A Family of Four

Welcome to our family Carter James Anderson

Born September 3, 2011 @ 11:30pm

8lbs 9oz

20.5" long

He's perfect and we're thrilled!!

"I Need Help"

These have to be the three hardest words I've ever uttered in my whole life.  And lately, I've been saying them a lot.  Yes, I know I'm 39 weeks pregnant and yes I know I should want people to help me.  But for this self-sufficient, independent girl ..... that's a hard thing to do.  Here's what complicates things.

Last Thursday after sweeping & mopping the downstairs floors (see? independant and stubborn!) my back was really achy.  No big deal.  I worked hard so now I deserve to kick my feet up, read my latest birth book and let my back rest and heal.  Well, rest I did.  Heal I did not.  Throughout the evening that "ache" in my back turned to sharp, shooting pains in my lower back and right hip.  Well, thank goodness for my chiropractor who can fix this, right?  WRONG!  This was Thursday night and I found out via Facebook that their office was closed on Friday.  CLOSED!!!  Now is not the time for them to be closed.  This means I have to wait until Monday!

So Chris massaged my back, we prayed and went to bed.  Friday the ache was still there but not the shooting pain.  And Saturday was more of the same.  Ok ... maybe I can make it 'till Monday.  Oh, so wrong again.  Saturday night we attended a BBQ at a friend's house and because we forgot to bring chairs along (thank you pregnancy brain), I ended up sitting on their picnic bench for a few hours.  A hard, wooden, non-forgiving picnic bench.  Re-enter sharp, shooting pain.  Except this time it was worse!  Way way worse!  I informed Chris we needed to leave and as I literally limped to the van I prayed one prayer.  "Dear Lord, please don't let me go into labor!"

Chris again massaged my back, applied heat, we prayed and went to bed in hopes that it would again feel better in the morning.  But apparently I'd really done it this time and those delightful shooting pains were still present Sunday morning, reminding me again and again that I should NEVER mop the floor when I'm 38 weeks pregnant!  Hear that pregnant mamas??  DON'T MOP THE FLOOR!!!  You can live with the dirt!

So I limped through the house eating what breakfast I could and getting myself ready for church.  And the whole drive there I'm just praying no one asks me "How are you feeling?" because they definitely would have gotten a whole sob story they never wanted to hear!  Fortunately we made it through the morning without any comments on how big I was was or questions on how I felt.  This is rare, my friends.  Rare.

I limped back to the van, drove home and pretty much sat on my rump the whole rest of the day.  And here's where the whole "I need help" thing comes in.  I asked for help with everything from cooking meals, to caring for my son to getting out of the chair.  And I asked not because I wanted to.  I NEEDED to.  I physically couldn't do the tasks that I so commonly do every day.  Very very frustrating.  But I am so thankful for an amazing husband who willingly changes diapers, cooks supper and rubs my back.  I seriously couldn't do this without him!!

So today I went to see my chiropractor.  He scolded me for mopping the floor.  I scolded him for being closed on Friday.  And he half-adjusted me.  Because my back has been so "jacked up" for this many days, it barely budged.  Fantastic.  So although I feel somewhat better, my lower back is still achy and sore.  I go back in later this week to have him work on it again.  And I'm still praying I don't go into labor until this is resolved.